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The “Crappies” Awards
For some strange reason, I started playing “Leather Goddesses of Phobos 2.
It has to be THE WORST adventure game I’ve ever played - hence my “Crappie” award for worst adventure game I’ve played so far in 2014:
So - what’s your very WORST? Gotta be better than my game.
I enjoy playing adventure games on my Alienware M17 r4 and my Nintendo Switch OLED.
The thing is, I’ve played a lot of really terrible amateur adventure games, but it feels unfair to kick them. I didn’t pay anything for them, and even the bad ones were labors of time and love.
I propose that any posts in this thread be limited to games we actually wasted money on, preferably published by a professional company. Kicking random hobbyists when they’re down is too easy.
So, once we’re restricted to major releases…
...my controversial choice is the first Legend of Kyrandia game, which introduced me to the idea of “arbitrary puzzles that exist to sell hintbooks and waste time.” And bear in mind that I was a Sierra fan, the kind who looked forward to getting the InterAction magazines, and so I was used to designer cruelty. But the Sierra games were often cruel with style and fun death scenes, while LoK was just boring and cruel. Pointless errands, pointless wandering.
I was pretty young when it came out, but I remember being disillusioned when I looked in the hintbook and said “WHAT? THAT’S REALLY THE ANSWER? ARE YOU STUPID?”
That this has a high rating on GOG.com, I ascribe to the gorgeous graphics and nostalgia, or possibly masochism. Those gemstones. That stupid cave maze. The completely empty plot and bland characters and pointless non-puzzles.
Jack Orlando would be a strong runner-up, because it managed to keep alive all the worst design choices of bad earlier games without bringing anything new to the table except bad acting and a borderline-incoherent, cliched story.
...Now, there might be a counterargument that SURELY there are worse games than these, but I never bought that many terrible adventure games. I read reviews and listened for word-of-mouth, so I managed to avoid most of the worst stinkers. When I was a little kid, my parents were not exactly buying me everything on the shelf, so I had to choose carefully. And when I was older, I usually had the judgment not to get ripped off.
(Until I bought [REDACTED BY AUTHOR TO AVOID DERAILING FLAME WAR] and [LET’S NOT HAVE ANOTHER THREAD ON THIS ONE], those sure were disappointing.)
I bet if I actually played some of the other legendary bad games, I’d have to wipe LoK off the list. But life’s short! I’m not going to play any game that’s less fun that complaining about a bad game I’ve already played. That’s got to be some kind of “minimum fun threshold” there.
I propose that any posts in this thread be limited to games we actually wasted money on, preferably published by a professional company. Kicking random hobbyists when they’re down is too easy.
I agree - my choice is obviously terrible and professionally published.
Let the nominees for the “crappies” awards begin!
I enjoy playing adventure games on my Alienware M17 r4 and my Nintendo Switch OLED.
the problem is I became so picky lately, so I wont be knowing about any more crappy or ‘fishy’ ags, my life is too short to play any more of those.
Hopkins FBI was pretty terrible as far as I recall. Some very sick scenes of violence, nonsensical plot, stupid characters - I remember I hated it with all my heart and cursed developers (they haven’t done anything since, hehe). But it was long time ago. Of the more recent examples, Amnesia 2 really got on my nerves. It ruined everything that made the first game a horror classic with its awful writing and laughable gameplay.
PC means personal computer
Jack Orlando. It only doesn’t suffer from its fair share of illogical puzzles, but to make things worse you can pick up random stuff that has no bearing to the game itself. You can literally fill your inventory to the brim with items, that have no other purpose but to be filler junk.
Also, the game is set in the 1930’s, but there’s a lot of stuff in it that just doesn’t fit in the noir theme it tries so desperately to convey. Some things just seem like they come from an entirely different game set in some entirely different place than noir themed american small city.
Moebius.
Hammy acting, uninteresting story, poor animation and the games just broken beyond belief.
Recently completed: Game of Thrones (decent), Tales from the borderlands (great!), Life is Strange (great!), Stasis (good), Annas Quest (great!); Broken Age (poor)
Can I say Jurassic Park? As much as I disliked Jack Orlando, at least it had actual puzzles. Tapping buttons as fast as I can is really dumb.
I have the same “problem” with Advie. I choose very carefully the games I play, thus I rarely get disapointed. At least not to the point of calling a game I played “crappy”.
I like LGoP2. Well, the beginning in the town anyways, after you leave its proximity it makes a turn for the worse. I wrote this review once about it. I think the opening sentence is a bit of hyperbole that I don’t quite agree with anymore, though.
What’s my worst? Too many to pick, but I’ll go with Nephi’s Quest for now.
Moebius.
Hammy acting, uninteresting story, poor animation and the games just broken beyond belief.
For one, glorious moment I managed to forget about this.
Cold Case Files. Spent 25 euro on it thinking it was a Law&Order;/CSI type game but it wasn’t even a game. You just visit crime scenes and your office and everything else is done automatically, without any input from the player except clicking a few times. No puzzles, no inventory combining, you don’t even need to think about anything.
Madre de Dios, es el Pollo Diablo!
Moebius.
Hammy acting, uninteresting story, poor animation and the games just broken beyond belief.
For one, glorious moment I managed to forget about this.
Sorry about that 
As for Jurassic Park, is it really an adventure game in the style we’re talking about? I thought this was more to do with point & click. I find Jurassic Park a weird one personally. It felt like TT’s first step towards The walking dead type of games, but the bad script among other things let it down.
Recently completed: Game of Thrones (decent), Tales from the borderlands (great!), Life is Strange (great!), Stasis (good), Annas Quest (great!); Broken Age (poor)
Moebius.
1) Glad to see the LGOP2 is liked by some. I’ll replay it in the future and see if it improves with age.
2) I like JJ games, but the reviews for this game are so up and down I haven’t got it. It is on a very long wait list.
I enjoy playing adventure games on my Alienware M17 r4 and my Nintendo Switch OLED.
As for Jurassic Park, is it really an adventure game in the style we’re talking about? I thought this was more to do with point & click. I find Jurassic Park a weird one personally. It felt like TT’s first step towards The walking dead type of games, but the bad script among other things let it down.
Ah. Okay, can I change my answer to The Walking Dead then? 
Hey, walking dead was great! So was the wolf among us 
Recently completed: Game of Thrones (decent), Tales from the borderlands (great!), Life is Strange (great!), Stasis (good), Annas Quest (great!); Broken Age (poor)
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