Born to a pair of world-famous spelunkers, I was orphaned at the tender age of 34 when my parents were tragically (and messily) eaten by a horde of grues. I suddenly found myself thrust out into the "Real World." I promptly punched the remote and turned on Jeopardy! instead.

A rough few years ensued, during which I jumped from job to job... trainer for a two-bit flea circus here.... political consultant there... anything for a quick buck. At last I settled into the job I was meant for: making the woman of my dreams happy. Fortunately, she works longer hours than I do, so I have time to write little bits of advice and opinion for the underinformed, the argumentative, and those born as curious and discriminating as I fancy myself to be.