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Adventurer’s Book of Christmas Carols

Xmas
Xmas

Merry Christmas, fellow adventure gamers!

To help share the joy of this holiday season, we hope you'll join us in a rousing chorus of everyone's favourite Christmas carols. True, we're spread far and wide, but it's the spirit of togetherness that counts. And since it isn't only Christmas that draws us together, we've decided to add a little "adventure" to your caroling pleasure this year. The tunes you all know (and will need to supply yourself), but the words will be just a bit different than you remember them, so we're pleased to present you with both new and old versions for comparison.

So whether you're feeling happy or blue, whether alone or surrounded by good friends and family (though if the latter, you might want to make sure they can tolerate your singing), we invite you to turn the page and follow along as we go caroling... AG-style!
 



Table of Malcontents

Page 1: You are here (not a carol)

Page 2: Adventure Wonderland (Winter Wonderland)

Page 3: All I Want for Christmas is a Walkthrough (All I Want for Christmas is You)

Page 4: Gabriel the Schattenjäger (Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)

Page 5: God Rest Ye, Merry Adventurer (God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen)

Page 6: Guybrush the Pirate (Frosty the Snowman)

Page 7: LucasArts Games (White Christmas)

Page 8: O Phoenix Wright (O Holy Night)

Page 9: Ringing Cells (Jingle Bells)

Page 10: Si'lent N'ight (Silent Night)

Page 11: The Twelve Days of Christmas (you guessed it)
 


Note: We know that some of these are beloved hymns with great spiritual significance, so we half-heartedly apologize in advance for the brazenly irreverent tone of the new lyrics.

Also: You, in the back! I can't hear you singing!!


Adventure Wonderland

(Sung to Winter Wonderland – Lyrics by Steve Brown)

Speakers on, are you listening?

Monitor, brightly glistening

This game is just right

I’m happy tonight

Walking in Adventure Wonderland

Nothing thrills me quite the same

As when I first click New game

No shooters for me

Nor real-time strategy

Walking in Adventure Wonderland

To distract a guard I’ll build a snowman

Dress it up with clothes from Parson Brown

Add an MP3 shouting out “Yo, man!”

With him well out the way, I’ll get around

To advance this great story

I’ll use my inventory

A dialogue tree

Is blissful to me

Walking in Adventure Wonderland

To continue I must be a bowman

But a bow I simply haven’t got

Find some sticks and feathers, string and stone, man!

The PC is the one who’ll take the shot

These plot twists, aren’t they thrilling?

The villains, truly chilling

It just does the trick

That old point-and-click

Walking in Adventure Wonderland.


Winter Wonderland

(Felix Bernard, Richard B. Smith)

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,

In the lane, snow is glistening

A beautiful sight,

We're happy tonight.

Walking in a winter wonderland.

Gone away is the bluebird,

Here to stay is a new bird

He sings a love song,

As we go along,

Walking in a winter wonderland.

In the meadow we can build a snowman,

Then pretend that he is Parson Brown

He'll say: Are you married? We'll say: No man,

But you can do the job when you're in town.

Later on, we'll conspire,

As we dream by the fire

To face unafraid,

The plans that we've made,

Walking in a winter wonderland.

In the meadow we can build a snowman,

And pretend that he's a circus clown

We'll have lots of fun with mister snowman,

Until the other kids knock him down.

When it snows, ain't it thrilling,

Though your nose gets a chilling

We'll frolic and play, the Eskimo way,

Walking in a winter wonderland.

 


All I Want for Christmas is a Walkthrough

(Sung to All I Want for Christmas is You – Lyrics by Andrew MacCormack)

I don't want a lot for Christmas

There's just one thing I need

I don't care about the cheating

Or my own abilities

I just want to end this game

Puzzle goats drive me insane

Make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas is… a walkthrough.

I don't want a lot for Christmas

There is just one thing I need

I have got to find a dumb wrench

All I’ve got is a monkey

I'm not always even sure what

I can use so trust to luck

How the heck should I know I need

To retrieve a rubber duck

I just want to reach the end

Before I go ‘round the bend

Make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas is… a walkthrough

(walkthough baby!)

I won't ask for much this Christmas

I won't even have the time

I'm just gonna keep on trying

Mixing hooks with washing lines

I'm sure that I missed an object

Must have been a pixel hunt

Whoever designed these puzzles

Must have been a real savant

'Cause I just want this done tonight

Stop the Templars, do it right

What more can I do?

Baby all I want for Christmas is… a walkthrough!

Waaaa-lkthroouu-ough


All I Want for Christmas is You

(Mariah Carey, Walter Afanasieff)

I don't want a lot for Christmas

There's just one thing I need

I don't care about the presents

Underneath the Christmas tree

I just want you for my own

More than you could ever know

Make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas is you.

I don't want a lot for Christmas

There is just one thing I need

I don't care about the presents

underneath the Christmas tree

I don't need to hang my stocking

There upon the fireplace

Santa Claus won't make me happy

With a toy on Christmas day

I just want you for my own

More than you could ever know

Make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas is you

You baby

I won't ask for much this Christmas

I won't even wish for snow

I'm just gonna keep on waiting

Underneath the mistletoe

I won't make a list and send it

To the North Pole for Saint Nick

I won't even stay awake to

Hear those magic reindeer click

'Cause I just want you here tonight

Holding on to me so tight

What more can I do

Baby all I want for Christmas is you


Gabriel, the Schattenjäger

(Sung to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer – Lyrics by Steve Brown)

Gabriel the Schattenjäger

Ran a scruffy old bookshop

Wasn’t a good example

Womaniser, cad and fop

Grace, she tried to reform him

But her efforts all in vain

Gabe never took much notice

Not an easy man to tame

Then one dark New Orleans day

Wolfgang called to say

“Gabe, your destiny’s to fight

All the creatures of the night”

Now he’s a man of purpose

Duty bound by family

Gabriel the Schattenjäger

Solving occult mystery


Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

(Johnny Marks)

Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer

had a very shiny nose.

And if you ever saw him,

you would even say it glows.

All of the other reindeer

used to laugh and call him names.

They never let poor Rudolph

join in any reindeer games.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve

Santa came to say:

"Rudolph with your nose so bright,

won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"

Then all the reindeer loved him

as they shouted out with glee,

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,

you'll go down in history!


God Rest Ye, Merry Adventurer

(Sung to God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen – Lyrics by Andrew MacCormack)

God rest ye, merry adventurer, let nothing you dismay

If you just use the thing you need, you'll soon be on your way

You'll get it from the stable boy if you give him some hay

Oh, fetch quests give players so much joy, such great joy!

Oh, fetch quests give players so much joy!

To get some hay, head left and down, that’s where you’ll find the smith

He has a great big pile of it and some will not be missed

But you may need to give him first a golden ring forthwith

Oh, fetch quests give players so much joy, such great joy!

Oh, fetch quests give players so much joy!

Now to the elf with magic sword to get the golden ring

The sword you'll get when you return the phoenix to the king

The phoenix will come ‘long with you if you repair his wing

Oh, fetch quests give players so much joy, such great joy!

Oh, fetch quests give players so much joy!

A druid will help heal the wing if you get him some moss

The troll will let you have that when you show your badge says "Boss"

And that a Witch will make for you if you find what she’s lost

Oh, fetch quests give players so much joy, such great joy!

Oh, fetch quests give players so much joy!

Now doing all this gofering would not be such a chore

If you believed it really happened in old times of yore

But you're supposed to be a Prince, it can become a bore!

Oh, fetch quests give players so much joy, such great joy!

Oh, fetch quests give players so much joy!


God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen

(Origin unknown)

God rest ye merry, gentlemen, let nothing you dismay

Remember Christ our Saviour was born on Christmas day

To save us all from Satan's power when we were gone astray

O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy

In Bethlehem, in Israel, this blessed Babe was born

And laid within a manger upon this blessed morn

The which His Mother Mary did nothing take in scorn

O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy

From God our Heavenly Father a blessed Angel came;

And unto certain Shepherds brought tidings of the same:

How that in Bethlehem was born the Son of God by Name.

O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy

"Fear not then," said the Angel, "Let nothing you affright,

This day is born a Saviour of a pure Virgin bright,

To free all those who trust in Him from Satan's power and might."

O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy

The shepherds at those tidings rejoiced much in mind,

And left their flocks a-feeding in tempest, storm and wind,

And went to Bethlehem straightway the Son of God to find.

O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy

And when they came to Bethlehem where our dear Saviour lay,

They found Him in a manger where oxen feed on hay;

His Mother Mary kneeling down, unto the Lord did pray.

O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy

Now to the Lord sing praises, all you within this place,

And with true love and brotherhood each other now embrace;

This holy tide of Christmas all other doth deface.

O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy


Guybrush the Pirate

(Sung to Frosty the Snowman – Lyrics by Steve Brown)

Guybrush the pirate

Was a jolly happy soul

With a yen you see

For great piracy

That career his only goal

Guybrush the pirate

Had to pass the trials three

Swordsmen to defeat

Thievery so neat

Treasure Hunting mastered he

There was nothing Sierra in the attitude to death

For when dropped in deep water Guybrush simply held his breath

O Guybrush the pirate

Won against the dread LeChuck

With a bit of style

And a bit of guile

And a huge amount of luck

Booty, Phatt and Scabb

Booty, Phatt and Scabb

Look at Guybrush go

Booty, Phatt and Scabb

Booty, Phatt and Scabb

Big Whoop he sought to know

Guybrush the pirate

Knew LeChuck he did not slay

So he looked into

A doll of voodoo

Meaning to drive him away

Wooed Elaine Marley

Put a ring upon her hand

To make her his own

It turned her to stone

This was not what he had planned

From streets of Puerto Pollo to the island of the Skull

Another fight with old LeChuck, yes his life was never dull

For Guybrush the pirate

Time had come to turn 3D

Set out to escape

The island of ape

And keep pirates on the sea

Ack, oop, eek and chee

Ack, oop, eek and chee

Guybrush Learns Kombat

Ack, oop, eek and chee

Ack, oop, eek and chee

LeChuck he will knock flat


Frosty the Snowman

(Walter Rollins, Steve Nelson)

Frosty the snowman

Was a jolly happy soul

With a corncob pipe

And a button nose

And two eyes made out of coal

Frosty the snowman

Is a fairy tale they say

He was made of snow

But the children know

How he came to life one day

There must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found

For when they placed it on his head he began to dance around

O Frosty the snowman

Was alive as he could be

And the children say

He could laugh and play

Just the same as you and me

Thumpetty thump thump

Thumpety thump thump

Look at Frosty go

Thumpetty thump thump

Thumpety thump thump

Over the hills of snow

Frosty the snowman

Knew the sun was hot that day

So he said "Let's run

And we'll have some fun

Now before I melt away"

Down to the village

With a broomstick in his hand

Running here and there all

Around the square saying

"Catch me if you can"

He led them down the streets of town right to the traffic cop

And he only paused a moment when he heard him holler "Stop!"

For Frosty the snowman

Had to hurry on his way

But he waved goodbye saying

"Don't you cry

I'll be back again some day"

Thumpetty thump thump

Thumpety thump thump

Look at Frosty go

Thumpetty thump thump

Thumpety thump thump

Over the hills of snow


LucasArts Games

(Sung to White Christmas – Lyrics by Steve Brown)

I’m dreaming of LucasArts games

Just like the ones I used to know

Melting my grog bottle

Going Full Throttle

To grimly dance the Fandango

I’m dreaming of LucasArts games

Hitting the Road just felt so right

Tentacle of purple, I’d fight

And with Indy, choose wits over might


White Christmas

(Irving Berlin)

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

Just like the ones I used to know

Where the treetops glisten,

and children listen

To hear sleigh bells in the snow

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

With every Christmas card I write

May your days be merry and bright

And may all your Christmases be white


O Phoenix Wright

(Sung to O Holy Night - Lyrics by Jack Allin)

O Phoenix Wright! The magatama’s shining

It is the night of a new case’s birth

Long lay the world in sin and murder pining

Now Phoenix needs to oppose Miles Edgeworth

A thrill of hope, his client now rejoices

The gavel rests, the judge is clearly torn

Call out your pleas! O hear the contradictions

O fight each line, O fight until they’re worn

O fight each line, O fight, O fight each line

Scene of the crime, he scours for hidden meaning

The witness lies under oath on the stand

Mia and Pearl, and sometimes Maya teaming

Because they know nothing goes like he planned

The outcome hangs in balance, now in danger

In all our trials right up to the end

Just when it seems this case can get no stranger

To bluffs he clings, with passion he defends

To bluffs he clings, to bluffs, to bluffs he clings

Truly he thought he had made a silly blunder

He lost a point when he started to guess

Chains shall he break that the truth’s straining under

And it is time for objections to press

Sweet hymns of joy when verdict sounds “Not Guilty”

Let all within us praise this DS game

Wright is a lawy’r, O praise the ace attorney

It’s justice for all, the suspect cleared of blame

It’s justice for all, the suspect cleared of blame


O Holy Night

(Adolph Adam, Placide Cappeau)

O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,

It is the night of our dear Saviour's birth.

Long lay the world in sin and error pining,

'Til He appear'd and the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees! O hear the angels' voices!

O night divine, O night when Christ was born;

O night divine, O night, O night Divine.

Led by the light of Faith serenely beaming,

With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.

So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,

Here come the wise men from Orient land.

The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger;

In all our trials born to be our friend.

He knows our need, to our weakness is no stranger,

Behold your King! Before Him lowly bend!

Behold your King, Behold your King.

Truly He taught us to love one another;

His law is love and His gospel is peace.

Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother;

And in His name all oppression shall cease.

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,

Let all within us praise His holy name.

Christ is the Lord! O praise His Name forever,

His power and glory evermore proclaim.

His power and glory evermore proclaim.


Ringing Cells

(Sung to Jingle Bells – Lyrics by Jack Allin)

Dashing through the snow, in a wind-up crazy train

O’er the fields we go, Oscar being a pain

Chasing Hans each day, close but never quite

What fun it is as Kate to play Syberia tonight

Chorus

Ringing cells, ringing cells, ringing all the way

Mom and boss harassing Kate the longer she delays

Ringing cells, ringing cells, ringing all the way

Friend and beau say “oops, oh no” for their roll in the hay

A day or two ago, Miss Walker took a ride

In town so sleepy slow, with contract to be signed

The heir was not around, misfortune seemed her lot

A mammoth toy was all she found with broken down robots

(Chorus)

But once the train set off, she started feeling swell

Until it had to stop, ‘cause that’s when trouble fell

Like thieves and drunken blues, and locks she had to raise

From home came the most shocking news that left her feeling dazed

(Chorus)

Now the time is right, the point of no return

Choice is black or white, one path must she spurn

Naturally she stayed, and raced to climb aboard

Now her next adventure’s in a sequel to the north

(Chorus)


Jingle Bells

(James Lord Pierpont)

Dashing through the snow, in a one-horse open sleigh,

O’er the fields we go, laughing all the way.

Bells on bob-tails ring, making spirits bright,

What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight.

Chorus

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!

O what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!

O what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.

A day or two ago, I thought I'd take a ride

And soon Miss Fanny Bright, was seated by my side;

The horse was lean and lank, misfortune seemed his lot;

He got into a drifted bank and then we got upsot

(Chorus)

A day or two ago, the story I must tell

I went out on the snow, and on my back I fell;

A gent was riding by, in a one-horse open sleigh

He laughed as there I sprawling lie but quickly drove away

(Chorus)

Now the ground is white, go it while you're young

Take the girls tonight, and sing this sleighing song;

Just get a bob-tailed bay, two forty as his speed

Hitch him to an open sleigh and crack! you'll take the lead

Chorus


Si’lent N’ight

(Sung to Silent Night – Lyrics by Jack Allin)

Si’lent n’ight, lonely night

All is calm, where am I?

‘Round I see an airship and clock

Complex gizmos wherever I walk

Someone talk to me, pleeee-ease

Someone talk to me, please

Si’lent n’ight, lonely night

No one’s here, wonder why

Nothing seems to work so far

If it did, I’d sing "Alleluia!"

How do I get hooo-ome?

How do I get home?

Si’lent n’ight, lonely night

Learned that I’m on Myst Isle

Books from Atrus link Age to Age

His two sons are trapped in a page

Time to save this wooo-orld

Time to save this world


Silent Night

(Franz Xaver Gruber, Father Josef Mohr, John Freeman Young)

Silent night, holy night

All is calm, all is bright

'Round yon virgin mother and Child

Holy infant so tender and mild

Sleep in heavenly peace

Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night,

Shepherds quake at the sight.

Glories stream from heaven afar,

Heav'nly hosts sing Alleluia;

Christ the Saviour is born

Christ the Saviour is born

Silent night, holy night,

Son of God, love's pure light.

Radiant beams from Thy holy face,

With the dawn of redeeming grace,

Jesus, Lord at Thy birth

Jesus, Lord at Thy birth


The Twelve Days of Christmas

(Lyrics by Jack Allin)

On the first day of Christmas, the genre gave to me

A white bird egg to set free

On the second day of Christmas, the genre gave to me

Two turtle dreams,

And a white bird egg to set free

On the third day of Christmas, the genre gave to me

Three lost skulls,

Two turtle dreams,

And a white bird egg to set free

On the fourth day of Christmas, the genre gave to me

Four branches cursed,

Three lost skulls,

Two turtle dreams,

And a white bird egg to set free

On the fifth day of Christmas, the genre gave to me

Five sacred rings,

Four branches cursed,

Three lost skulls,

Two turtle dreams,

And a white bird egg to set free

On the sixth day of Christmas, the genre gave to me

Six games a season,

Five sacred rings,

Four branches cursed,

Three lost skulls,

Two turtle dreams,

And a white bird egg to set free

On the seventh day of Christmas, the genre gave to me

Seven guests a-staying,

Six games a season,

Five sacred rings,

Four branches cursed,

Three lost skulls,

Two turtle dreams,

And a white bird egg to set free

On the eighth day of Christmas, the genre gave to me

Eight-bits invading,

Seven guests a-staying,

Six games a season,

Five sacred rings,

Four branches cursed,

Three lost skulls,

Two turtle dreams,

And a white bird egg to set free

On the ninth day of Christmas, the genre gave to me

Nine muses lasting,

Eight-bits invading,

Seven guests a-staying,

Six games a season,

Five sacred rings,

Four branches cursed,

Three lost skulls,

Two turtle dreams,

And a white bird egg to set free

On the tenth day of Christmas, the genre gave to me

Ten sailors missing,

Nine muses lasting,

Eight-bits invading,

Seven guests a-staying,

Six games a season,

Five sacred rings,

Four branches cursed,

Three lost skulls,

Two turtle dreams,

And a white bird egg to set free

On the eleventh day of Christmas, the genre gave to me

Eleventh hour chiming,

Ten sailors missing,

Nine muses lasting,

Eight-bits invading,

Seven guests a-staying,

Six games a season,

Five sacred rings,

Four branches cursed,

Three lost skulls,

Two turtle dreams,

And a white bird egg to set free

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the genre gave to me

Vince Twelve’s adventure,

Eleventh hour chiming,

Ten sailors missing,

Nine muses lasting,

Eight-bits invading,

Seven guests a-staying,

Six games a season,

Five sacred rings,

Four branches cursed,

Three lost skulls,

Two turtle dreams,

And a white bird egg to set free


The Twelve Days of Christmas

(Origin unknown)

Last verse

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

Twelve drummers drumming,

Eleven pipers piping,

Ten lords a-leaping,

Nine ladies dancing,

Eight maids a-milking,

Seven swans a-swimming,

Six geese a-laying,

Five golden rings,

Four calling birds,

Three French hens,

Two turtle doves,

And a partridge in a pear tree

 

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