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feature: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the site  The stockings were hung up, in all shapes and type In neat little rows on our Meter of Hype The gamers were nestled all snug in their beds While dreams of adventure news danced in their heads We staffers, at last, though from all 'round the map Had just settled down for a long winter's nap When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter We sprang from our beds to see what was the matter  We thought it was Santa, but needed to see 'Cause who can resist a late night mystery? In silence we tiptoed our way 'cross the floor While fumbling in darkness 'til we reached the door We grabbed the brass handle and gave it a turn And just then a shocking surprise did we learn No matter how hard we would jiggle and nudge That stupid old doorknob, it just wouldn't budge! Confounded so early, pursuing our goal We noticed no light peeking through the keyhole  "Of course!" we all cried, "The key's jammed in the lock But on the wrong side and it's causing our block!" The mood quickly soured and approached mass hysterics Blame fingers were pointed, agreed it was Marek But being adventurers all through and through We thought up a plan 'til we knew what to do We slid out some paper right down underneath And popped the key onto it, "Whew! What relief!"  We all felt so proud over what we had done But knew our adventure had only begun Just then we heard those strange noises again And thought that it came from the back corner den That's where we had stashed our big Christmas surprise Concealed from the snoopers and wandering eyes "But that cannot be," we all scoffed with a laugh "The lock for that room takes an hour and a half!" And why, you may ask, would it take such a while? The door lock's a puzzle with eight sliding tiles  So just when we thought the intruder was magic We heard a dull thumping from up in the attic We raced to the place and looked up at the ceiling But just couldn't reach it — oh, such hopeless feeling! These obstacles threatened to make us all sadder If only we knew where to find a stepladder When someone exclaimed, with a quick joyous dance "Our problem is solved, I've got one in my pants!"  "Yeah, right," we retorted, "There's just no way that it Could stuff in your pockets; can't possibly fit!" But we were all wrong, because next in the story A ladder emerged from a small inventory Our mouths all agape, did we look on in awe And just not quite sure that we'd seen what we saw But while still in shock, we were caught unaware For just then we heard a loud creak of the stairs Arriving in seconds, we still were too slow But figured from there was just one place to go  The music room off down the hall to the right But some just refused, saying "No, not tonight." "We're not going in there; you know we're tone deaf And don't know an eighth note from a treble clef." Yet that didn't matter, when sounds from the back Alerted us that our pursuit was off-track But nothing was there when we got to the spot Which left us head-scratching and grumbling a lot We probed and examined behind and out front The whole search became a real life pixel hunt  The house was so big, it was just like a maze The rate we were going, we'd be at it for days We knew that we needed a logical system With mapping and notes so we'd know if we missed him And so we began moving through the abode Carefully plotting our way, node to node There must be a clue, so we thought — wouldn't you? If only real life also had a walkthrough
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